Reclamation through ritual: Re-approaching my experience with Tashlich, a ceremony of atonement in which it is customary to throw bread into a running body of water to represent the casting off of sins. My memories of Tashlich are complicated; though participating with my community outside of an institutional setting and in nature felt beautiful, I was always riddled with guilt this time of year. Feeling like I had to apologize for my existence, my identity, and things I couldn’t control consumed me. In this piece I retract my apologies for feeling too queer and too mad to belong in the Jewish community, or belong anywhere. I readdress my apologies for feeling like I had to hide or change. I let go of the cyclical guilt that once drowned me.